2024
- Throwing a bowling ball backwards, not in the Nintendo Wii game.
- At the same bowling alley, I took out the bumper and got a gutter ball. We called it getting a gutter ball in a lane with no gutters.
- Tagging the barbecue grill in a game of horseshoes.
- Start and end in the same spot: I usually have my smartphone playing music and I set it on the corner of the pool. The distance of the sound tells me where I am. I also use markers along the length of the pool such as jets, steps and ladders for orientation. Finally, if the sun is out, I can use its position on my face to keep me on track.
- Empty Pool: I’m introverted and blind, making me an object of curiosity to people (another topic, etc., etc., etc.). My favorite thing about the pool in my apartment is I can hit the pool at 7 in the morning and be finished long before the children are out of school. This also makes it less of a problem if I veer.
- The same place for my things every time: My place is just inside the door against the fence. I know how far the pool is from there and I’m most comfortable starting from that spot. I also know how to get from the steps when I get out to my things.
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Start the motor: Skip the stairs, take the plunge. My body deals with the shock of the cold all at the same time and I can get down to business. This is especially helpful on mornings are in the low ‘50’s.
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Warm-up; Move my legs and arms like Gymnast Barbie for the verse and chorus of a song. I like to move everything at the same time so my body doesn’t feel like it has a lot of extra parts coming out of it that I don’t know what to do with, but there are a few ways to go about warming up. Also, to move like Gymnast Barbie, get to a place in the pool that is shallow enough that I can touch if I need to, but deep enough so I don’t stub my toes. Then, move my arms and legs in a dog-paddle motion. I know when my body’s ready to go, another benefit of regular activity.
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Free-style: I prefer to dog-paddle. I do this for a song and a half, or five plus however many laps I can take before I get tired if it’s raining and my phone is safe and dry in my apartment. My pool’s a rectangle with an elbow for the stairs. I estimate it at about four yards long.
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The Big five: I do five of each of the following.
a. Ghost arm: Move around the pool using both legs and one arm in a forward motion. The total number of laps is 10. I alternate arms for a more comfortable workout, or use each arm 5 times consecutively for a more challenging session. My ghost arm, arm I’m not using, can either stay curled against my torso, or it can be used as a makeshift feeler to find walls.
b. T-Rex: Propel myself forward around the pool using only my arms. It gives my legs a chance to rest before the next set of exercises. If I’m not feeling it, I put my feet out behind me and just keep them stationary and remind myself I’m longer than normal when I make the turns. If I want to work my belly muscles (reminder: Not fitness oriented), I point my feet straight down and lift my legs in shallow areas. Another advantage here is my legs aren’t completely stationary durning the time it takes me to do this exercise.
c. I forgot my kick board!: Fold my hands in front of me and use only my legs to go around the pool in a forward motion. Easier for me to write than to do.
d. Bizarro-cycle: Pretend I’m sitting upright on a bicycle, facing my feet out in front of me and use just them to move myself around the pool in a backward motion. If I’m having a hard day, I pretend I’m on an exercise bike and use my arms to help me move. If my back starts to spasm, the bicycle becomes a manually operated crotch rocket that also goes in reverse.
e. Flying chair: Sit in an upright position with my feet in front of me so my toes point up, and my soles are facing out. Then, move my arms in concentric circles to move around the pool in a forward motion. I use this one when my legs have giving up their grumbling about having to go through this routine agin in favor of an outcry to please stop what I’m doing. The extra challenge is to maintain the upright position. If my legs only grumble, this exercise usually stays on the bench as it is very time consuming.
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Cool-down: Return to Gymnast barbie position until my body doesn’t feel like a coiled spring, then a shower.
- Will you be my panda?
- I’m going out for some pizza with my panda later tonight.
- My panda and I are renting an apartment in downtown Kalamazoo together.
- I’d like you to meet Taylor. We’re pandas.
Whenever I eat gator tail, I like to think I’m scoring one for the dragons and dinosaurs who lived in harmony before the alligators sailed in from their distant land of Gatoria and forced the gentle, friendly reptiles off their land. The alligators then spread propaganda like The Story of Saint ,George and Joracic Park to remind the humans how beastly these creatures were. It’s a bigger conspiracy theory than b’irds are fake, I tell you.
In the world of Non-24, there are no late starts, just unconventional ones. Ditto early mornings, late nights, typical days, etc.
Happy Birthded Agay
🎶👯Got exposed to another group of waitresses singing “Happy Birthday to You” to a diner. It started out in the key of D and looked promising, but then they hit that high note just before they say the person’s name and dropped into something like B-flat.
For the record, I think the birthday song needs to be changed. I suggest Rabbit Ain’t GotIt shares it’s melody with Mary Had a Little Lamb, a tune most people can carry in some form. Basically, everyone surrounds the birthday person and sing this song instead. Do it seven times or whenever you end p yelling rather thann singing, as each repetition gets a bit louder. It’s easier on everybody with the same amount of awkward.
I’ve just finished adding emoji to all my categories on my site. If you’re seeing this in another corner of the Fediverse, you can follow changeling@starshipchangelingnet to get these posts directly. You can also be more selective if you have an RSS reader and only follow the categories of interest. micro.blog is the new WordPress as long as you oly want to blog.
I’m sure this is already making its way around the Fediverse. It has to do with the Sonos post I shared last week. Jonathan Mosen’s Facebook post has all the info about how to get involved. 🧑🦯
🧑🏫🧑🦯 Dear teachers of the visually impaired,
On behalf of all congenitally blind children and mobility specialists who work with adults, please do us and them a favor. Save us all a lot of time somehow engaged in scoldings about always using our white canes by making sure we’re acquainted with it before we are subjected to, “Stay put.” when the object we want is across the room and we have to make up our own system of finding it. Sincerely, A blind adult who may or may not be guilt tripping
Want to read: You Like It Darker by Stephen King 📚 It’s already pre-ordered. Will maybe try to rer Cujo before it comes out.
💻 📚 Apple Card kept my Audible membership from being renewed multiple times. I lost 4 credits and two days of fighting with the two entities to get the thing fixed. Thing is, I almost didn’t renew because the Audible app and Airplay are always at odds on the best of days.
Always order more chicken nuggets than you want. By creating a short supply with high demand, you’re guaranteeing crispy fresh chicken nuggets for yourself. If you play your cards right, you can get fresh fries, too.
On Today’s Menu…
• Rhumatology appointment to continue receiving meds. • ‘Pick up new sleepy time meds. • Eat • Take up space. • Go to the bathroom a few times. • Aspire to sleep.
Swimming or Whatever
Why?
I’m live in the blind community, and one of the things that comes up is trouble accessing physical activity. Reasons for this include but are not limited to access to transportation, accessing the gym, following visual cues in group classes, etc. This means that any time a blind person appears to be getting regular exercise, other blind people want details. That’s why I’m posting this. It’s not an exercise video, just a blog post by someone stuck on the idea that even written casual information needs some structure.
Disclosure I Hope Makes Me less Intimidating
I’m not particularly fitness oriented. I call any sporting event Sportsball, and some of my highlights in this portion of human existence include:
I’m also the one ordering the supersized order of fries This is why anyone who knows me is saying, An exercise routine? You? It’s also why this is not a training material
The fact of the matter is endorphins help manage my chronic pain and are cheap, comparatively speaking. Exercise is also good for helping to manage circadian rhythm disorders, from my own research to deal with my stuff. The existence of necessity combined with my general contempt for gym memberships, exercise videos, etc. (a completely different story) allow me to go into this with the understanding that I have no reason to be attempting physical activity. I don’t care what I look like. I’m there to meet a need. I have, however, included a screenshot of a recent tracking session(https://starshipchangeling.net/uploads/2024/image.jpg) recorded by my Apple watch to show the results for myself.
I bring this up to tell you that if you are a blind person and if you want to be successful at something like this, you’ll have to get comfortable with the idea that, when it comes to your exercise, you’ll tell someone what their opinion is when you want it as long as you’re not in any danger. You may even need to say so out loud. If you can get comfortable with that, you can own your exercise and are more likely to stick with it/return to it following a break. This is an underlying principle of fitness in general, I believe. The turning the not worrying about what I look like long enough to do the exercise is my personal struggle as a congenitally blind, fitness disoriented person.
Considerations
I live in Florida. My pool is outdoors, useable most of the year and appears to be open 24/7, though the earliest I have been out there is 7 in the morning. I based these adaptations on my own comfort and needs.
The Routine
Before we begin, one final disclosure. The names of the moves are what I call them in my head. That’s all. I didn’t invent the moves, and please don’t spend your energy replying to me with corrections. I really had to do some personal rewiring to get here, so on my starship, I call the moves what I call them. If you’re reading this and yelling, “That’s not what that’s called!” At your computer, please relax. You can call these exercises whatever you like in your house of no imagination.
Conclusion
When I first sat down to write this, I hadn’t intended for it to be a long-form post. I also hadn’t intended for it to be all about me. However, as I was reviewing the first draft, the part about not being fitness oriented, it hit me that the only way to write this in a way appropriate to my station was to make it personal. I’m not an exercise instructor, but a troubleshooter. In this case, the thing I needed to fix was my own personal attitudes toward exercise.
I’ve enjoyed the water since forever, so I’ve figured out ways to enjoy pools independently. There’s also just something about the smell of a swimming pool, the mix of chlorine and sun lotion, that I find invigorating. Combine that with changing what I was doing according to how my body felt before, during and after, and that’s how I found what worked for me. And the music, of course. That works for me more than trying to keep time.
All I wanted was a link I could give people that ask what I’m doing so I don’t have to keep repeating myself. I need a way to count words because based on the length of this, I’m the only one who read it. :P
🎵🛜 Now listening to Organized Chaos on X Transmission FM with Nightdrake. She well-rounded musically, also reads a lot of books and gives enough of a fuck about me to call me on my shit. Everyone should go listen.
🧑🏫 Did you know you can only follow the categories you want from The Starshipchangeling? Just see the categories link in the navigation region of any page to get started. :)
🎶 This micro blog of mine, I’m gonna let it shine! This micro blog of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
The Mirror Lesson
I found this post on Mastodon and thought it was too good not to share.
Bathroom A private school recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put it on they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators…
Panda
Definition
Pronounced pan-duh. My personal word that refers to someone for whom I am experiencing panalterous attraction, a grey area characterized by extreme emotional closeness without a romantic or sexual component.
Usage Examples
P.S.
The feeling needn’t be mutual for me to classify someone as my panda. Bringing the social aspect depicted in the above examples does require mutual consent.
Now watching Drawn Together Not sure what I think just yet, but it was recommended to me by one of my pandas.
I wasn’t in agreement with This article at first, but I was changing my mind by the end of it. It explains why I don’t always answer texts right away or look at incoming notifications right away.
The Rabbit Listens, The Goon Knows
Finished reading: The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld 📚
I won’t spoil it by including the message of the story, but I will say it’s a good one. I was thinking, am I a good rabbit? In the bunniverse, I’m the goon. I listen, but I also have a chaotic thought process and energy which yields results that create forces and ideas not ideal for all riders.
That’s okay, The Bunniverse also has this overlord–
Did I say overlord? I meant benevolent caretaker.
Anyway, she calls herself The Good Fairy. In a world where the caretaker has to put “Good” in their name, I’d rather be a goon, even if it is the punishment for not following the rules. If the rabbit listens, then the goon knows not to trust someone who needs to put “Good”. Similar self-praising adjectives should also apply. The same with people smile too much, always talk in a happy voice, always insist on keeping it positive, etc.
So when the song that features She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is sung, I wonder how many people memorize a moral that was told to them. The moral being follow the always follow the rules of the one who takes care you or be turned into a creature your group, your society finds objectionable, apparently the worst possible outcome in this scinario.
Good Fairy?"
I also hope there are those who listen and follow the rules based on a trust factor. I’ve always valued being trusted more than I value being liked. I think that’s why that song annoys the holy Hell out of me.